Beth Person

• Gain credibility and trust by being flexible and allowing her time to reflect on her own.
• Offer guidance in a logical and objective manner.
• Give her the underlying significance of what you are suggesting and emphasize how considering this can expand her perspective and open up possibilities to think creatively.
• Express information objectively so Beth will best hear you.
• Don’t underestimate the importance of developing a personal bond with Beth, relationships are how she learns best. Act as a caring sounding board so that she can feel comfortable being herself around you – what she wants most is to identify practical, everyday benefits and then use them to help herself and those she knows.

• Participating in group discussions and doing oral presentations instead of independent study and written reports.
• Hearing about details and specifics first instead of listening to topics described in big picture terms.
• Building social connections and people skills instead of running statistics or analyzing data.
• Setting benchmarks and scheduling appointments to monitor understanding and progress instead of free-flowing course goals and ad-hoc get-togethers to strengthen learning.

• Tell Beth that when people are feeling confused on any topic, it can affect their experience of school even if their problems aren’t directly related to their coursework. At such times, people tend to seek clarity in different ways.
• To help Beth gain perspective, have a discussion with her where you support her in drawing on her natural style of reasoning by asking "What is the most logical and objectively correct thing to do?"
• Reassure Beth that the point is not to have the perfect answer, but instead to free up her thinking and start a conversation about options.
• If Beth is really stuck, you may want to try asking her this stretch question designed to shake up her typical approach to unraveling confusing or difficult issues: "What is the most immediately enjoyable thing to do?"
• Help Beth get the most out of the stretch question above (especially if she has trouble with it) by explaining that “This question is actually one that some people – people quite different from you – would naturally ask themselves, so it’s totally normal that it might seem foreign to you, or, for you to feel that it is not even a valid question to consider. So, while it probably feels a bit awkward, being willing to think about this question and trying to look at things from another’s vantage point, might just turn out to be a useful and important way expand your thinking.”
• Use this as an opportunity to encourage Beth to stay curious about the methods others use to learn and grow when faced with something confusing or difficult. Even when these methods don’t match hers, she may be surprised at what she discovers, even if all she discovers is how not to do things.

• Caution Beth against seeing perfection as the standard to meet, often it’s worth risking failure rather than doing nothing.
• Remind Beth that when directness and critique are balanced with diplomacy and praise, others are more receptive to her good ideas.
• Challenge Beth to let others in on her thinking process sooner – others can’t help if they don’t know what she is considering and may struggle with accepting a pronouncement from Beth if they feel they had no part in shaping it.
• Appeal to Beth’s natural inclination to do refine her thinking if it improves performance. Help her to see that it is preferable to factor in the logical consequences of her choices on her own and others’ emotional wellbeing – issues can be explored in the abstract but once acted upon, result in outcomes she and others will have to bear.

• Encourage Beth to step back to allow her normal gift of objectivity to re-emerge before trying to analyze the conflict.
• Suggest that Beth use thinking aloud and rhetorical questions to help her reflect on the causes of the conflict.
• Remind Beth that feelings, her own and those of others, are important data points for understanding why conflict occurred and figuring out which solutions are the most are most desirable.
• Help Beth to see that seeking the truth isn’t only about questioning assumptions and finding flaws in logic; how people feel and what they need has to be considered as well.

Believing there is a universal approach to conflict

• Tell Beth “ You can’t solve every conflict with a single method no matter how brilliant or theoretically sound.”
• Have a discussion with name to explore why many conflicts require individualized solutions that address the specific needs and wishes of the people involved.
• Explain that “While the desire to treat everyone equally is a noble one, when logical principles clash with real people’s needs, care should be taken to find a solution that honors both the ideal of fairness and the feelings of the individuals concerned.”

Being exacting to the point of missing the real issue

• Tell Beth “Splitting hairs or arguing over precisely what happened can often push people away.”
• Have a discussion with Beth about how debating others over the particulars of an issue can mean the point gets lost; others feel they aren’t being heard which makes a genuine exchange less likely.
• Explain that “Many people use nitpicking the facts underlying a conflict as a way to handle emotional distress and feelings of vulnerability.”

Being unsettled by strong emotions

• Tell Beth “Conflict resolution isn’t simply a matter of rendering an impartial decision about what’s right and wrong.”
• Have a discussion with Beth to explore how getting in touch with her feelings is rational way to determine what matters most to her during conflict.
• Explain that “No matter how disorienting it can be when conflict seems emotionally driven, acknowledging the importance of your own and others’ feelings allows you to find solutions that are both personally satisfying and logically sound.”

• Reflect on her own and choose just a few career options to research in depth.
• Look at her dreams, hunches, and off-the-wall ideas for clues about which career options to consider more deeply.
• Ask herself whether the possible career choices she has identified have more positives than negatives.
• Respond to new information, chance meetings, or spontaneous opportunities that keep her career search fresh.

• Do people in this field value autonomy, independent work, and in-depth consideration of issues?
• Do people in this field value imagination, insight, and reaching toward an ideal future?
• Do people in this field value objectivity, critical analysis, and data?
• Do people in this field value freedom, adaptability, and openness?